By Kimberly Joy V. Naparan
As I write this column, I want to say happy birthday to Marcus Aurelius!
Oh, so what now? Do you even care? Do you give a fudge? (I am going to use “fudge” because I do not like to curse, but you get the idea.) Why am I mentioning this man to you? Would he even affect your life?
For me, his writings and philosophy did change my life. I hope it will be the same way for you, too.
My Boy, Marcus: The OG of Stoicism
Marcus Aurelius (born April 26, 121) was a Roman Emperor and a Stoic philosopher. He was the last of the rulers of the so-called “Five Good Emperors” and the last emperor of the Pax Romana, an age of peace and stability for the Roman Empire. He is best known for his personal writings compiled into “Meditations,” which served as his source of self-guidance and improvement. In short, he was a great guy.
Marcus Aurelius is just one of the many of history’s great leaders and influential people who practiced Stoicism––from kings, presidents, writers, artists, and even entrepreneurs. Stoics believe in rationality as the path to virtue; thus, happiness. For them, emotions are potentially dangerous as these distract people from their goals. Ergo, Stoicism teaches us that one should minimize one’s passions and make decisions based on facts, as much as possible.
Stoicism is a philosophy that is said to make us wiser, happier, more resilient, and overall better persons. Its ultimate goal is a way of life that has moral excellence. It also influenced Christian morality and theology, and modern philosophy.
Its founder, Zeno of Citium, argued that one should court reason and recognize that all things are not permanent and without lasting value. Stoicism both inspired historical figures and received harsh criticisms. It is often considered to be harsh and pitiless. However, its followers believe otherwise. For Stoics, this philosophy is liberating and a way to attain a joyous life.
If you have come across or at least heard of this philosophy, you will observe that Stoicism has made its comeback in the past years, largely because of best-selling self-help books written by Ryan Holiday and the likes, and prominent lifestyle guru and author Tim Ferriss.
There is a lot to learn about Stoicism. One may not fully abide by it but there is no harm in trying some of its principles. I personally follow some of its principles but I cannot say that I would identify as a Stoic.
But who knows? In the near future, I may be one.
Just Give Limited Fudge
One of the things that I strongly agree with Stoicism is to “focus on things that we can control, and ignore the rest.”
In psychology, there are two (2) loci of control: internal and external. Psychologists say that people with an internal locus of control tend to believe that they have the responsibility for most of the things that happen in their lives. They also concentrate on the matters where they can improve and pursue things to achieve their goals. On the other hand, people with external locus of control do the opposite. They point fingers at others for their problems and complain.
Mark Manson, author of the best-selling self-help book titled “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,” said that as we grow older, our lives change. As we enter middle age, we already know who we are. In other words, our identities have already solidified. We no longer have the desire to change what now seems to be inevitable in our lives.
I strongly agree.
This may sound strange, but I have held on to this philosophy since I turned in my mid-20s. I have come to the point in my life that I no longer give a fudge about everything. I have accepted that life may be unfair, but life is just what it is. Acceptance is key. It is a difficult process; I am not going to lie. But it takes courage and self-realization to reach this point in life and achieve a panacea to our problems.
I may no longer give a flying fudge to things that I have no control of or those that do not contribute any good to my well-being, but I still give a fudge to a very select few people or matter. I only reserve my limited and ever-dwindling fudge for the ones I care the most: These are my family, close friends, and Mother Nature (yes, I care about the environment).
Simple, yes. Practical, definitely. And this is what makes me truly happy.
This IS liberating.
THE BARRISTER 