Written by Angelika V. Ortega
Stepping into law school was a mistake. I knew this even before I sat in the school’s auditorium for orientation week. I entered San Beda as the egoistic, rebellious 19-year-old who had no dreams of ever becoming a lawyer. I knew nothing about what I was venturing into.
With every failed recitation and examination that followed, I doubted myself. Not a year passed by that I did not.
For four years, I aimlessly wondered if I would pass my subjects, meet the required grade, and graduate on time as planned. I regretted every wasted opportunity to extensively study a particular subject because I chose to do another thing instead. In my third year, I hated myself for taking my first- and second-year subjects for granted. At the outset of my very last year, I badly wanted to stop. At the final stretch of my fourth year, my grandmother, to whom I dedicated my last year in law school, died.
It felt like it was the end for my journey as well.
However, it was also in those moments of regret when I realized that law school should not be all books. I sought comfort in performing external activities. I joined thebarrister on my first year and RGCT-Bar Operations on the second until third. I worked from second year to fourth year. I made sure I balanced my social life with my academics.
Not too long ago, I reminded myself that all of this began as a mistake, a regret. I looked back to the days when I could not muster any self-motivation because it was not even my dream to begin with.
But it was a mistake that I happily lived with. It was a mistake I was destined to trip over. It was the regret that gave me the will and discipline to try harder and figure things out in the end. While it was the regret that killed me a million times over every year for the past four years, it was the same regret that bore the confident and grounded 23-year-old woman I am now.
Above all, it was the mistake that brought me lifetime relationships, priceless opportunities, and life-changing lessons that I would not trade for the world. I went through law school without a game plan in mind, but, with good company and a fervent heart to take risks, I enjoyed every bit of it.
To John, Jerwin, Hann, Kim, Junelle, Sam, Franz, Niniel, Bane, and the rest of 1G: Thank you for having my back since day 1. Our friendship is one of the most reassuring things that I have had over the past years. Seek comfort in the fact that you will always have a friend in me, even after law school.
To the #PubSquad: Thank you for being my family in San Beda. From the early morning call times to the late-night Zoom and Google Meet sessions, even post-graduation, your love and support did not waver.
To the friends I met along the way, from 2C to 4B and 4E, as well as outside law school: I will treasure the relationships we built. I am proud to call each of you my friend.
To my professors and the Dean’s Office admin: Thank you for believing in me. I am honored to have you as my mentors.
To Andre and Dom: Thank you for the low-maintenance friendship that I will treasure for the rest of my days and for teaching me to choose the regret I can live with. For every answered call whenever I felt like catching up, breaking down, or simply asking for a pick-me-up, you never failed to show up. I hope you know how much those simple acts made the biggest impact in my life.
To Papa, Mama, Kuya Vin, Kuya Leir, Mamata, Papa Erap, Tian, Kryz, Mariel, and Kuya RJ (and my cats): Your support and love have led me this far and pushed me to greater heights. I will forever be grateful and indebted.
To Nanay: Thank you for guiding me even a lifetime away. I hope I made you proud.
Finally, to every struggling law student: Trust the process and believe in your capabilities. You are not placed in this situation if you are not meant to be here. It is normal to be confused and overwhelmed; law school will tear down your walls to rebuild you. Put to heart that you will reach wherever you are destined to be at the right time. Take things slowly and remind yourself that in the chaotic world of law school, one thing will remain constant: your support system, whether it be your friends from your block or another, your orgmates, or your family. You are never alone in this fight. Cry if you must today but stand tall on the next. Every waking day is a fighting chance and opportunity to start over. The outcome will be worth the wait and struggle.
Angelika V. Ortega, J.D. is among the Batch 2023 graduates of the College of Law. She is the Editor-in-Chief of thebarrister for Academic Year 2022-2023. Previously, she served as the publication’s Managing Editor (2021-2022) and News and Features Editor (2020-2021). This is the final installment of her column, Inter Alia.
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