Written by Ella Marie M. Mercado
I say my love language is Quality Time — to spend my days, my hours, or even a quarter of my time with a person I love, romantically or platonically.
I appreciate people lending me their time–whether for useless chatter, strolling around the mall, or all the small talks in between, a reel or TikTok video sent because it reminded me of them, a quick hi hello followed by “alam mo ba…?” Through all this, it is actually other people lending me their time.
But truly, my love language is making time for small talk. I can’t ask “hi, hello, how are you?” or even a simple “what’s up?” because I can’t handle the emotional capacity needed for people to unload their feelings onto me. I can’t bear the thought of burdening someone else with my problems and worries. And so, small talk remains as small talk until I find the right time to load or unload.
Isn’t Quality Time the greatest of the love languages? You make time to pick out gifts to give, a fraction of a second for a hug or an hour for a cuddle, make time to do things for others, and take time to think and say the right things to people. If all these are done without time, they become burdensome–and if it’s done without love, it becomes labor. So if love and time are both a burden, burden me.
Burden me with your problems, I will listen.
Burden me with your hugs, attention, and innocent caresses.
Burden me with your faraway, expensive trip plans.
Burden me with your pasalubong of small trinkets or souvenirs.
Burden me, love, you are safe with me.
THE BARRISTER 